Tips for raising boys

Do you ever feel like your rough-and-tumble little boy is on the go 24/7 and never takes a moment to slow down? Maybe you’re finding that your boy is full of energy and short on emotion.

Here are some tips for raising boys to be thoughtful, respectful, kind, and well-rounded young men:

• Embrace his energy. By letting boys jump and dance and run around, we find that they are more apt to absorb a lesson and more willing to read a book, listen to a story or finish their homework.
• Build a strong relationship with him. Developing close relationships are the key to raising boys into compassionate men.
• Encourage empathy. Developing an inner sense of compassion and empathy builds self-respect and understanding of others.
• Get physical. Touch his hands or shoulders when setting limits or physically redirect him. Boys respond more to physical touch than words.
• Spend one-on-one time. Spending special time with him allows him to show you who he really is.
• Focus on effort – Not ability. Celebrating the effort, no matter what the outcome helps instil “the importance of trying your best, challenging yourself and never giving up,”
• Encourage his interests. How a boy demonstrates his boy-ness should be up to the child and never prescribed by an adult.
• Give him responsibility. Having a few chores around the house helps boys develop self-esteem and confidence.
• Listen to his feelings. Listening to your boy’s feelings and meeting him ‘where he is’ helps him feel loved for who he is.
• Be a role model. Act like you want your son to behave and encourage all your son’s caregivers to get on the same page. Children learn behaviours from those around them.
• Set limits. Boys need limits to thrive. Set limits seriously but do it lovingly.
• Get involved. Whether it’s volunteering at your son’s school or coaching rugby, staying involved in your son’s life shows that you care and encourages a close relationship even through the rocky teenage years.
• Care for yourself. Taking time to care for yourself by setting time aside to do what you love or developing a network of similarly minded parents to turn to allows you to be fully present for your boys.
• Focus on the positive. Negative interactions, such as reprimanding, correcting and doling out discipline, although necessary, can take a toll on your relationship with your son. Catch your son being good and praise him for it.
• Don’t label him. Giving your boy a label (class clown, etc.) can pigeonhole him. Allow him to find his own identity and help him out if he’s stuck in rigid behaviours.
• Encourage open communication. Getting your boy to open up to you isn’t always easy, but it is essential to developing and maintaining a close relationship. Ask questions while doing other activities, such as in the car or while he does an art project.
• Let him make mistakes. It’s important to become resilient to making mistakes. Instead of trying to fix everything for your boy, allow him to figure things out for himself.
• Show affection. Boys need tenderness and caring even if they don’t always show it. Give plenty of hugs and tell your boy that you love him at least once a day.
• Get outside. Boys have so much physical energy, they need the room and freedom of the great outdoors to run, jump, climb, play, and explore. Don’t structure this outside play. Just let your boy be himself!